competition for what?

Friendship shouldn't be a competition.
So why does it feel that way?
It never used to.
And when I bring it up or try to explain they all get mad and act like I'm crazy.
They really don't see it do they?
They don't know how I feel.
They think its paranoia ... It's not!
She acts like She knows them better than I do...
She thinks they will be friends forever.
They were my friends first.
She wasn't in the picture ... neither of them were.
I've done everything I can for them and I just feel unappreciated or pushed aside.
I feel replaced, Retired, thrown out.
Although that may be the case.... I can't help but feeling that way.
Jealousy all the time...
Who wants that? I don't!
But its there.
eating away at me... It makes me not want to talk to her...
But she is my friend too... why is it a competition... They were mine first... You're second not me.
Ugh this is dumb.
It's our last year...
We should be together enjoying it...

because next year, there will be others... we will be seperate, and nothing will be the same.