No title for this one.

I just dont think this is working...

as much as I want it to... It's just not.

what spell did you cast on me?

Why is it so hard for me to tell you what I think?

I don't want you to think I'm overthinking it... becuase I'm not.

It's really how it is. I am just no good at explaining it.

You make me nervous.

I feel cornered..

Ugh I hate this so much!

whatever dude.

Fuck what we used to have.

It's completely gone..

I'm sorry but I am not convinced...

Screw this...

I have to move on.

You don't mean what you said.

You don't love me.

You probably could care less about me..

that is until I meet someone new.

What the heck.

All I did was EVERYTHING I could for you.

Sorry you don't appreciate it.

It sucks because you're my best friend...

what happened?

"Goodmorning starshine the earth says Hello"

Oh morning time....
It can be good or bad... and the morning is the start of your day so you want to start it out really good =].

It's like a second chance every day.

You have a whole day of things to do or to plan...

You never know what exactly is going to happen...

It's kinda cool.

and those of us that love to stay up late and sleep in until one or two miss out BIG TIME!.

You can tell because when we wake up in the middle of the day... we already feel like we have no time to do anything because Half our day is gone!

I woke up early this morning to take caroline to VBS with her friend Elizabeth.. and It kind of feels good to be up early.

I want to do all these things like work out... go walking... just have some "Me" time.

It's quite refreshing actually.

yes, it is hard to get myself up... but I think if I made it a routine it wouldn't be so bad.. also if I had a reason to get up like working out... I think it would be a little easier to peel my body off the sheets ;P

I know this blog is kind of pointless... but really... it's not meant for anyone to approve wheather it's boring, dumb, or whatever... because it's for me =] so yeah =]

anyways... I Hope the rest of my day is as good as my morning so far.

today I have yoga and Panera with devin at 2.

MmMmM cinnomon crunch bagel with reduced fat Hazel nut cream Cheese <333

one evil I can never overcome =]

I'll probably end up going walking after I eat it...

I plan on getting my act together with this whole working out eating right thing...

I keep saying it but this time I plan to actually do it!

Splurging is over... Lazyness is in the past

and Becca needs to get back on track before I'm so far behind there is no way I can catch up...

with that being said let me get off this computer and go do something!

productive... :D

Turning the leaf.

While waking up today with one of the worst headaches I've ever had due to the two most obnoxious people ever arguing over dumb shit... I decided that I am NOT going to worry about a relationship.

Yes. I love him.. I don't know if he loves me back but as of now I just don't care anymore.

Caring about it isn't doing me any good at all!

so Screw relationships... screw loving people... I'm so tired of the hassel.

I'm done being extra nice to people. I'm going to do what's good for me.. and what I need to do.

call me selfish but hey, I won't have to deal with a bunch of bullshit emotion, from me, or anyone else.

I'm turning a new leaf.. and I'm going to work on things I want to work on and accomplish MY goals.

and not worry about anyone.. so All of them can just wait and sit on the back burner because I'm doing me right now.

Love it or hate it that's how just how it's going to be.

I don't have time for it.

human door mat

I'm a sucker..

I fall for it everytime.

"yes please let me do whatever you ask!"

Ugh I'm tired of it.

I'm too easy.

I need to say no every once and a while... but it's so hard... why?

ugh I hate caring... caring so much I'd do anything for them.. without any kind of appreciation or response..

Im a door mat....

Hello welcome, come in wipe your feet on me ... everyone else does.

the end.

the unread blog.

You know, I've been telling myself alot lately that I need to stop, I can do so much better... I deserve better... But whenever I talk to him... I don't want better... I want him.
It sucks so bad!!!

I just want to feel sure that he loves me. He doesn't talk about it, he doesn't even want to say the word and he kind of shows it in his own way... I don't know. It's so confusing.

I wan't to explain it to him so badly but I know he doesn't want to talk about it.

Why can't we talk about it one good time... just so he can understand where I'm coming from.

Where is the boy I fell in love with, and how is this boy keeping me here?
I guess I just keep hoping the first boy will come back.

Will he ever realize that I just want love, that's it. That is all I'm interested in.

I know he hates the word, he hates talking about it, he hates feeling obligated... but I don't think he understands that it does not have to be an obligation. I don't want him to tell me he loves me every second of everyday. He doesn't even have to tell me every day, or every week even... I just want to hear it every once and a while... just so I know he does still love me. I mean, I'm sorry if that seems like alot to ask of you... but ... it's really all I want....

I don't know maybe one day I will work up the courage to talk to you about it...

I know that it's so hard sometimes for me to stop myself from telling you I love you.

I do love you.

I would do anything for you.. can't you tell... I think you can, which is why you don't see where I'm coming from... as far as you know I am absoloutely positive you love me...

except I'm not...

Please just tell me once? Don't completely delete the word forever... It's nice to hear every once and a while...

You will never read this... =(

The Body.. MY body the way I see it.

Why is it that I have this mental block.
If I don't work out, or do anything physical and eat like crap then.. when I look at myself all I see is this huge... Untoned... Jiggly thing!

and it's like whenever I get where I want to be I mess up! and I just keep messing up!

Ugh its so depressing like it really bothers me.

Nobody else knows how I see myself though, and nobody knows how I feel.

They think I'm stupid for looking at myself like I'm fat...

But I mean that is SERIOUSLY how I see myself.... It's like all I can think about.

I know I have a problem... but I just can't fix it!

Ugh I need Meds.

That, or a personal trainer!

HELP!