Olivia

It has always been one of my biggest fears since I was really little.
I've always felt like someone was following me, and watching everything I did.
I would always turn around and look out windows of the room I'm in to see if any one's there.
There never is.
You hear things on T.V. and read about people in books who have seen things that The naked eye cant see.
you have heard of people who have experienced visits from their old family members, who have long since passed.
or maybe even people who have experienced an out of body experience..
Some of it we don't believe because they have no proof, why should we?
I always believed that there was life after death.
However, I never really thought about the dead contacting me..
not me,
never.
I remember my mom telling me about 2 years or so ago that she heard my dead sister Olivia talk to her when she was visiting the temple.
My neighbor Peggy, has also said that she has seen Olivia in the back of the van, as well as heard her speak to her.
It's pretty cool, and a bit scary to know that my sister is still here.
It's a good thing yes, but It's just scary to know that shes dead, and shes watching us and that she sees everything we do, but we can't see her.
I've heard her..
but never seen her.
I would like to see her one day, but then again it scares me to death.
I don't know.
I miss her alot. My mom and I were watching old videos with her as a baby.
she was such a happy baby.
It was really weird to watch those videos and then when they were over, think that shes never coming back.
I will never see my baby sister again.
It kills me to know that my sister Caroline will never know her older sister Olivia.
Olivia never got to live life.
she never will learn to ride a bike, or go to school, or get her first boyfriend.
She will never be able to get a job, or learn to drive, or ever get married and have kids of her own.
I wish that I could go back and change things.
I wish i could go back and save her.
Back to the night that changed everything.
I remember the night of the fire, I was playing with her on the trampoline.
she wore her little pink silk nightgown to bed, and my dad tucked her in...
the next time I saw her, she was being put into an ambulance with a breathing mask on her face.. her hairline black from the smoke..
she looked peaceful though, she just looked as though she was sleeping.
I thought everything would be alright, I felt a feeling of comfort and safety as I saw her going into the ambulance.
I thought
"oh the doctors will save her."
I was wrong. I remember sitting in the room at the hospital and waiting for the doctor..
I remember when he came in our hearts stopped when he said that she wasn't coming back.
I remember that was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry.
It took me 3 weeks to finally realize that she was NOT coming back.
wow this has kind of changed direction on me...
I just really miss her.
I wish she would come back.
but that's all I can do is wish.