There is always that someone. The person you will never forget, and will always have those feelings for even if you don't want them. You can't help it. This weekend I've realized that I will always have feelings for this person, We dated last year and even though I find him to be extremely immature, and annoying at times, I realize that I still have secret feelings for him. the feelings I had before we dated, when we were just friends. I never really knew if he felt the same way about me, but it turns out he does. He has a girlfriend now, but still admits his feelings for me. I honestly didn't think he really cared much for me anymore since he started things with her, but this week he was acting different, but familiar at the same time. He was acting like he did before we went out, when we were at that point where it was just a matter of time before he asked me out. It freaked me out at first, but then last night he came to subway and just stood there with his friend talking to me, and they stayed the rest of the time I was working. Just talking to me, he was saying little things that were defiantly "Friendlier" then just friends. I ended up having to give him a ride home which I don't mind giving people rides home, but it was the fact that he didn't really need a ride home, he just wanted me to take him home. While we were waiting outside of the mall for my mom to come, some inner feelings came out that I don't think he meant to come out. He would mention memories that we shared, and stuff that happend between us. It would have been akward if he was with another friend other then the one that was there, but I had known this kid for a long time so it didn't matter. When my mom came, she asked me to take her to kroger to get some things. While she ran in we parked the car and we just talked. Out came some more memories, and fun times and bad times, some jokes, and more, "friendlier than friends" compliments. We took him and his friend home, and when I got online last night he imed me before I could even look to see who was on. It was an interesting 2 hours of talking. our conversation was basically a "spill session" between the two of us and the feelings we know we have. We came to the conclusion that we will always have feelings for eachother, but that doesn't mean we have to take them anywhere. He has a girlfriend, but it was really weird he acted as though he didn't have one, he kept saying, If me and her break up, or if me and her don't last much longer, then yada yada. I don't really like it because, thats not fair to her, and it's not right for him to say stuff like that. not to mention the fact that I have gotten over him, and I don't think I could ever date him again. like I said I find him extremely immature, stubborn, and at times annoying. I wouldn't put myself through a relationship like that again. He also kept saying how he didn't want me to go to utah, and how I was the only girl he really liked and all this. It's pretty frustraiting, and I wish He had never said anything. I can't imagine how akward it's going to be on Tuesday morning when I get to school. It's really weird how you can control alot of things about yourself, but the one thing you want to control most is feelings, and it's not possible. People think they control their feelings but really it's denial, You still have those inner feelings no matter what, even if you don't pay any attention to them, you know they are there, might as well admit it. It does no good keeping it inside, these feelings won't go anywhere, but they will always be there.. Kinda sucks.
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